Musical Emotions

Every day I learn more about myself as a deaf person. The other day I put a movie on for the kids, and it happened to be my very favorite animated Disney growing up. Beauty and the Beast. I sat down and started to watch it with them, and not halfway through the movie, I got bored and got up to do other things. Obviously I just don’t enjoy kids movies like I used to.

And a few days later, I’m flipping through the channels and I stop when I find “You’ve Got Mail”. Cheesy movie it is, I just love the combination of Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. A few minutes into the movie, we see the two of them strolling along Manhattan, coffee in hand, enjoying the crisp fall weather, accompanied by that unmistakable melody of “Dreams” by The Cranberries.

It’s right then that it just hits me. I can’t hear the music. I can remember the voices, both the melody and octave-higher harmony of a song I’ve heard a million times over. But it’s not the same. I’m remembering it, not hearing it. I turn off the song in my head, watch the two walking figures, and I think about how boring this movie is too. But it’s not because it really is boring. Something is just missing. And it’s the music I can’t hear that puts the emotion into the whole scene. But what I’m feeling when I watch, is a sudden lack of emotion. Boredom. Tears come to my eyes as I realize it. It’s another depressing fact I learn about myself that I store in the archives of my memory, but I don’t dwell on it. I never do. I learn something about myself, and I move forward.

I do find it interesting to think that music affects us so much. It’s really something I didn’t think of so much. I knew it before, but I really truly appreciate it now. Music shapes our emotions and even our lives by just a simply melody of a few notes. It’s really an incredible thing.

I won’t depress over it. I greatly appreciate the experiences I’ve had as a full fledged hearing person. Believe or not, I’ve been humming that Cranberries tune for days, breaking out into song occasionally, only to see my kids looking at me like I’m crazy. I remember every note and instrument and I won’t soon forget it (no matter how loony the kids think I am).

Next time you watch your favorite chick-flick, I hope you listen to the music and really enjoy it this time around.


One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Anonymous on October 23, 2012 at 4:54 pm

    i definitely will ! 🙂


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