Denial. Happens to the Best of Us.

My husband and I have a lot of friends and family, probably even more so because we attend church very regularly and know most everyone who attends.

So it goes to say that when we were at church this past Sunday (my husband flew out that evening to Albania), there lots of both friends and family who offered me their support this week if I needed it. The most popular question I was asked was if I was going to miss my husband.

Now I love my husband, I really do. But over the course of our marriage, he has traveled to probably half the states in the U.S. with his work, in addition to the two times he’s been out of the country. My husband hasn’t traveled with his work over the last two years as he did prior to that, but I’ve definitely been left to my own devices on more than one occasion. In fact, when my oldest was just seven days old, my husband was gone for six solid days. So it’s only natural that one would get used to that.

But without going into great detail, how do you explain to someone that you’re not really going to miss your husband? That sounds kind of tacky, doesn’t it? My husband left Sunday, but on Monday my son started five days of Vacation Bible School (for 3 hours each day) and Tuesday he started having 30 swim lessons every day too. We had a lot planned for this week, although I’m now wondering what I was thinking when I signed up for swim lessons and VBS all in the same week. I certainly couldn’t have been thinking rationally. But we were busy and had so much to do, that there wasn’t really time to think about much else, right?

Today, Wednesday, marks day number three that we have completed without my husband and today, day three, is when I finally admitted to myself that I was in complete and utter denial to think that I wouldn’t miss my husband.

At about three o’clock today, I used our phone and called the Mission Base in Albania so that my kids could speak to their dad for the first time since he left. The first couple seconds that my son was on the phone, I could tell it was one of the Albanian family members because he couldn’t understand what they were saying. I told him to ask for his dad, and in all of the sudden my son’s face turned from incomprehension, to the biggest grin I have ever seen on his face. It was at that moment, that I just knew. I missed my husband so crazy much.

And after my son talked a few minutes, he handed the phone to my daughter, who promptly told her dad that she “peepee’d in the potty”. It’s very important to her that we are supportive. She’s two and has this potty training down pretty good, and she does deserve a big high five. She actually was much more conversational (in her 3-word way, of course) than my son. It made me cry buckets.

So for those of you out there who wonder if wives get used to the absence of their husbands? The answer is no. Definitely not.


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