And the wait is over.

Ok, so it’s been nearly a century in blogosphere time since I’ve been here, but better late than never, right? Or so I like to think anyway.

My Cochlear implant surgery is scheduled for September 13th, ironically enough my birthday. A month or so later the implant will be activated. I think I’m excited and terrified all rolled into one. I’m not terrified of the surgery, nothing like that. I do admit that going under the knife for any period of time is a little intimidating, but I’ve got confidence in my doctor to do an awesome job, meaning there are no worries there.

But as weird as it is, I’m relishing every single moment left of my deafness. Crazy weird, yes, but here’s the thing. I know that the surgery will push me from about a 80-90% hearing loss, so somewhere around a 20% hearing loss. I’ll be able to hear my kids laugh, play, scream, and talk, and I’ll be able to lay in bed at night and talk to my husband about all the things that married couples worry about. But the one thing I don’t want to ever forget is how incredibly truly blessed I am. I’ve spent my whole adulthood (all 10 years of it, HA!) praying and believing for some sort of cure or end to this crazy hard-to-deal-with disability, and now that I’ve found it, now that it’s really happening, I want to remember forever where I’ve come from. Sure I’ll still be able to turn my processor off and hear nothingness, but that won’t send me back in time to the constant battle with depression, the tears of desperation to hear simple things, or the anguish of not hearing my children’s cries. And although I will never want to go backward, I don’t want to forget for a single moment of how thankful I am for God and every single one of my family members who have helped me through this time and again.

The blogs I wrote before now were a reminder for me. I’ll print them, file them, and store them forever so I can look back in case I forget. So many times in life it’s so easy to look at all this stuff we deal with and wonder how we got here, instead of looking back and realizing how far we’ve really come. And I’ve promised myself and my God that I won’t forget.

I’m so excited as I look forward to my activation date. I may not blog much until then, but I will get with the program on the days leading up to my surgery. No book deal will come out of it, but I think it will be fun to be able to catalog all the overwhelming number of sounds I learn and deal with on a daily basis.

And it’s just around the corner!


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