The Big Decision Part 4

Hearing aids did change my life. For the first month I had them I was blown away at how many little sounds I heard that I didn’t realize I wasn’t hearing anymore. After that stark realization for me, just one year later I realized I stopped hearing those same sounds.

More than anything else, I think that hearing aids prepared me mentally to taking a bigger step. I had finally understood the fact that I needed to do everything in within my own power to get as much hearing back as I could so that I could find a happier balance for my life. So after a lot of thought, I came to the conclusion that it wouldn’t hurt anything to just look into CI. Because, really, should I be writing the whole thing off if I didn’t know all there was to know about it?

My first step was to see a counselor. I met with a lady, named Karen, and she knew about all there is to know about technology devices available to assist a deaf or hard of hearing person.

And guess what?

She is a CI recipient too.

When I met with her, we talked a lot about the CI process. She told me her story, and although it was so much different than my own, I absorbed every word, especially how much CI had changes her life.

She challenged me with this:
If you have already lost all your hearing, what is there to lose by choosing to receive a cochlear implant?

But.

What can you gain?

And I knew. Whether she knows it or not, that question, that day, was what challenged me to really research CI and make my final decision. It was true. I had nothing left to lose. I had lost it all once, regained some with a hearing aid, only to lose it all over again. There were no other options available. If I chose to not have CI, I’d live the rest of my life as I was. If I chose CI, it might not work, but if it did, and if it helped at all, it would be more than I had at that moment.

As I sit here today, I’m in a McDonald’s play area. There is so much noise around me, kids screaming and laughing, banging against plastic and munching on food. If I listen closely, pay attention to the noise, I can distinguish my little girl’s too loud voice and undeniably adorable laughter.

And I know I made a good choice.

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