Posts Tagged ‘whispering’

Day 9 – From the mouth of babes

I’ve been brutally absent here these last few days, partially because of being so busy, and also because someone close to me had been in the hospital. I’m so incredibly glad to say that the said person is making a full recovery. Having a loved one in the hospital reminds me that life is so precious, and we must remember not to take our relationships for granted.

On to Day 9 post-activation of my Cochlear Implant.

By Day 5, I had increased the volume on my processor so much, that I had begun getting headaches. By the end of that day, I had to pull my volume down a whole lot. I was discouraged to go backward in volume, because I felt as though I really needed it. It was really helping me understand so much better, but apparently my brain just couldn’t take in so many sounds at once. And even though I had pulled down the volume, I continued to have headaches daily.

Day 9 was the first day that I didn’t wake up with a headache. I was happy, to say the least, but I was still cautious. I left my volume level at Program 2, where I had brought it down to on Day 5, and enjoyed the day headache-free.

I did a yoga workout sometime mid-morning and while the tinnitus did return while doing the workout, it faded and stopped shortly after finishing. I think it is interesting that the tinnitus that I’m experiencing is obviously related to my physical activity. I have done my very best to keep any “workouts” at this point to very minimum exertion. I’ve been told through use of an online forum that activity equivalent to a 30-45 minute walk is recommended, but anything beyond that is frowned upon for quite some time. I’ve certainly kept that advice in mind anytime that I am exercising.

Later on in the day, I sat on the floor in my son and daughter’s room, waiting until they fell asleep for naps before leaving the room. My son had fallen asleep for about 15-20mins, but because my daughter was shaking their bunk bed when tossing and turning, she woke my son up before she fell asleep herself. After I was sure she was asleep, I whispered to my son, who was on the top bunk of the bed, and told him he could get down and play.

The whisper was odd. In the last few years, I’ve come to find that I couldn’t hear my voice much anymore. Even with a hearing aid in, it was always very hard to determine how loud I was talking, which was usually too loud. It was always easy to accidentally talk to loud, because that’s when I could actually hear myself speaking. But whispering? If I had tried that, I’d probably be either not actually making a noise, or not even whispering and just plain talking instead. Judging the sound of my voice, or loudness, had become impossible.

So it was fun to know that I could whisper to my son. He whispered back to me, and guess what? I heard it! We whispered back and forth to each other several times before he finally got down from the bed and we quietly left to a different room.

Remember playing telephone as a kid? I certainly remember playing, but I always sucked at it. I know that as a very young child in private school, I had hearing tests that proved I heard normally, but I wonder sometimes if my hearing started declining earlier than my late teens. I wouldn’t be surprised if I had unknowingly lost some by the time I was first entering my teen years.

Let’s just say that it had been a very long time since I’d been privy to a whispering conversation. Stuff like that makes me feel like a kid again. Enjoying those little things. They aren’t important really, but they just bring a spark to my life, enabling me to clearly see how fortunate I am.

Later in the day I took the kids with me to the store, and as we exited, we saw an enormous flock of birds overhead. I don’t know why it happens, but these black birds often choose my local grocery parking lot to congregate. I don’t mean a few hundred birds. I bet there are well over a thousand that cover the lot frequently. A car drove through the back of the parking lot about the time we exited the building, and all those black birds flew into the air, flapping their wings and chirping a million chirps.

I heard it too. I heard the flutter of so many pairs of wings and their high pitched voices as they filled the air. Try as I might, I can’t even remember the last time I heard a bird. It’s been so long that it’s simply just faded from my memory. But I heard them that day.

I don’t typically hear birds chirping, even now several days later, and I know it’s just because I automatically tune most everything out. Sounds are so overwhelming right now, and because I can’t differentiate between a lot of things, I get a constant static background noise with most everything I hear. Gradually my mind will start picking out different things and they’ll pull apart from the static. So it was fun hearing the birds as they drifted from the background of noise to the forefront into recognizable sounds.

I will leave here with a conversation from my kids. I converse with them more and more these days, and I laugh at what they say more than I ever have. Most people know that kids say funny things. But this mother is just now learning that.

Me: [Girl] please put your seatbelt on.
Son: If a Cop saw her with no seatbelt on, he would try and catch us and give us a ticket.
Me: Umm.. yes.. But more importantly, if she didn’t have her seatbelt on and I had an accident, she might fall out of her seat and hurt herself.
Son: And then an ambulance would come.
Me: Uhh, yeah I guess so.
Daughter: The ambulance would take you to the doctor’s office.
Me: Well, no, an ambulance takes you to the hospital. (thinking: how did this conversation get here?)